Zing zing zing went my heartstrings, THUD THUD THUD went my ovaries. A+ work on the gorgeous blond babies, sir.

Liev Schreiber just does it for me in that lumberjackish, looks-fucking-fantastic-with-stuble, could-pick-me-up-as-though-I-weighed-nothing way. Honestly, I’ve only seen like two of his movies. But who needs movies when he has so much work narrating PBS documentaries? That’s some sexy shit, I’ll tell you what. I just assume that it means he is blisteringly intelligent and would be a worthy Scrabble opponent. He would score high, but then the stars would align and I would win with “exquisite” landing on a triple word score. He would laugh at his inability to ever beat me and then he’d swat the board out of the way before taking out his boardgame frustrations on me. Family game night, indeed.