Hey look, we’re behind the times! Anyway, god bless the Olympics for giving us another epic two-week parade of hot people who do things better than I could ever imagine doing them, mostly while on ice. Seth Wescott, for instance, beat his competitors in that snowboard-jumping-racing thing when it looked like he didn’t have a shot at all. Wescott also gets a medal for being hot, but I’m sorry to say, not gold. So close! Even with a technical hotness score of 10, the soul patch violation brings him down to silver. Seth, dear, I know you’re reaching for the stars, but reach for a razor too. You’ll be mounting more … erm … podiums than ever.